Tag Archives: recycled

Toilet Paper needs love too

Each winter my son John remodels a room in the Parkfield Inn. This year he chose the room we call The Tool Room, whose theme is of a blacksmith’s shop. While re-doing the bathroom it struck me that far and away the most important object in the bathroom is not soap, nor is it a nice soft absorbent bath towel, or hot water, which if push came to shove would all have to take a back seat to a roll of toilet paper. What other thing in a bathroom gives so much satisfaction when cleaning out different orifices of the body; can double as a Band Aid for a man that cuts himself shaving, or can be made into ear plugs to drown out music that sounds like finger nails on a chalkboard? T.P. really shows its absolute supremacy over all other objects in a bathroom when a person is perched upon the porcelain throne and when done looks for the T.P. Lo and behold, if the dispenser is empty, in the blink of an eye terror strikes this helpless person with “What do I do now?!” In the case of no soap or no towel, they’re just inconveniences, but no toilet paper, now that has to rate right up there with a heart attack.
“How do we treat this indispensable part of our lives? We simply send spent paper down the toilet with not so much as a thank you for a job well done, or a bon voyage. No, we just walk away indifferent to the plight of that paper as it journeys off to some sewer farm never to be heard from again. But because toilet paper came from a tree, just like paper that makes its way to the easel of an artist where brush strokes can make it valuable, or to a pad where something scribbled can lead to world changing events, our poor T.P., with just bad luck, got shunted into a pulp barrel labeled for toilet paper, where it will give its all with no reward.
Well I plan to change this injustice by building a proper monument to display this indispensable part of our lives in the newly remodeled bathroom of the Tool Room. It will be made of recycled parts, each having escaped the plight of my T.P. friend to be reborn again as a proud holder of body wipes. So if you would like to pay homage to our universal friend, come visit us in Parkfield, CA, Earthquake Capital Of The World, population 18, and the place where a ground swell of gratitude is gathering steam to make toilet paper ‘Top of The Heap’, ‘King of the Hill.’
See ya, Jack

crown jewel of any bathroom